You need to analyze what went wrong and realize whether or not it’s a good idea to get back together.
pros and cos of your relationship
Are you sure your ex didn’t have any cons?
If you listen to your heart, all you will hear is that you love your ex and you want them back. Instead, try to think with your mind. Be logical.
Analyze the pros and cons of your relationship.
Analyze the pros and cons of your ex.
Analyze what your goals in life are and whether or not a relationship with your ex aligns with those goals.
Remember, your ex will not make you happy, only you can make yourself happy.
And the only way you can do it is by understanding yourself, loving yourself, appreciating what you have, understanding your purpose in life and pursuing it.
Do you really think you can have a happy and long lasting relationship with your ex?
Do you really think that the reason you broke up is no big deal?
You are making a huge decision right now.
So you better make sure that it is the right one. You have 30 days to do it, so don’t rush into it.
Take your time. Relax and do things that make you feel better. When you start being happy in life without your ex, you will realize whether or not getting your ex back is the right decision.
And if you are sure it’s the right decision, then you must figure how to fix whatever was broken in your relationship.
FIGURE OUT WHAT WAS BROKEN AND HOW TO FIX IT
Almost every success story I have come across has one thing in common. They all understood exactly what went wrong in the relationship and exactly how to fix it.
There are so many reasons for a relationship can fail that it’s impossible to list them all over here. Moreover, every situation is unique and the solution to each situation is also unique.
But in most cases, the reason for breakup can be boiled down to the loss of one of the following.
Attraction
Connection
Or Trust
For example,
You fought too much? You had communication problems that lead to loss of connection.
You were controlling and insecure? You had self-esteem issues that led to loss of attraction.
Your ex didn’t want to commit? He didn’t feel a strong enough connection with you.
You cheated, or your ex cheated? Your relationship ended because the trust was broken.
Your relationship was stressful? You didn’t spend enough quality time together that led to loss of attraction.
Your relationship got monotonous? You lost attraction and sexual connection.
You must figure out the real reason for the breakup. Not just what they said to you while breaking up with you. Try to figure out what happened in the relationship that pushed them to the point of breaking up with you.
There is a good chance that your ex loved you deeply and breaking up with you was a hard decision for them as well.
Your ex boyfriend is equally sad and miserable because of this breakup
If you truly love them, you owe it to them and yourself to figure out the root cause of the breakup and how to fix it.
If you don’t know how to fix what was broken, you will never be able to get them back. And even if you do manage to get them back, you will break up again because of the same reasons.
And the second time around, it’s going to be even more painful. For both of you.
It’s important you do this if you want to get your ex lover back permanently. When you are sure that you can fix whatever was broken in your relationship, move on to the next step, which is contacting your ex.
STEP 4 – Contact Your Ex at the Right Time with The Right Message to Reset Your Image and Make Them Attracted to You Again
Remember when your ex left you? They thought of you as a needy, clingy and desperate person with little to no self-respect.
After not being in contact with you for a while, they must be wondering what the heck happened to you.
They will slowly start to forget that image of yours (the needy desperate one) and start remembering the things they liked about you.
They will start remembering the things that they found attractive in you.
And that’s when you contact them, you talk to them and then meet them. Just as they lay eyes on you, BOOM.
That’s the new and improved you.
YOU version 2.0.
They can’t help but wonder what brought so much positive change in you.
re-attracting your ex
“You look amazing. You smell amazing. You look like you are doing great in your life. You look like you’ve been working out. You look happy. You look confident, sexy, fun and attractive. You look like a catch. Why did I break up with you again?” – Your Ex
For that to happen, you need two things.
You should actually bring a positive change in your life and become a confident, happy and attractive person.
You should contact your ex and meet them somewhere.
If you have been following this guide till now, then you know how to go about the first point. So, let’s get straight to the second point.
WHEN IS THE RIGHT TIME TO CONTACT MY EX?
The right time to contact your ex is when you are ready. It’s not so much about when they will miss you most, but about when you are ready to handle it without becoming needy and desperate again.
Believe me, a lot of guys and girls screw up because they contact their ex before they are ready. It usually starts fine because their ex misses them due to no contact, but they soon go back to being cold when they figure out you have been faking. And they can always tell if you are faking.
So before you contact your ex, here is a checklist of things you need to make sure you’ve done.
You followed the no contact rule for at least one month.
You are no longer a mess as you were after the breakup.
You have made a few positive changes in your life.
You are absolutely sure that getting back with your ex is a good decision.
You have gone on at least one date during no contact.
You have accepted the breakup and you are OK with the fact that you may never get your ex back and this might never work for you .
You have accepted the fact that even if you don’t get your ex back, you will be fine since there are endless opportunities in the world to find love and happiness.
and you are OK with the fact that you may never get your ex back and this might never work for you .
You have accepted the fact that even if you don’t get your ex back, you will be fine since there are endless opportunities in the world to find love and happiness.(Read more about having the right mindset after no contact is over)
WHAT IS THE RIGHT WAY TO CONTACT YOUR EX?
The best way to contact your ex after no contact is to send them a text, an email or a hand written letter.
A hand written letter is a great way to contact your ex right after you’ve finished no contact. A hand written letter stands out in this age of digital technology. Of course, you can use an email as well.
hand written letter
Wouldn’t it be nice to receive a hand written letter in the mail?
The medium which you use to contact your ex does not matter that much. What matters is the content of this message. I call this the Elephant in The Room Message because you should acknowledge the Elephant in the room (that you both broke up and whatever happened after) and reset your image in the eyes of your ex.
This message has three purposes.
Purpose 1: To let your ex know that you have accepted the breakup. And you think that it’s for the best.
You are letting them know that you are no longer the needy desperate person who was refusing to accept the breakup.
Purpose 2: To apologize for any of your inappropriate behavior after the breakup.
You want to make sure that everything from the past is forgiven and forgotten.
Purpose 3: To let them know of something exciting that is happening in your life. Don’t reveal too much here. Just tell them something good is happening in your life.
You’d love to talk about it, but not now. Because you both need some space and time.
You want to give them something to chew on.
They will be thinking about what’s happening in your life and will want to call or text you to talk about it. You are using curiosity to get your ex contact you.
Of course, something must be happening in your life. That’s why creating a positive change in your life is absolutely important before contacting your ex.
THE TEXT MESSAGES
Text messages should ideally be used after sending the hand written letter to build up attraction. You can even skip the hand written letter and move on directly to text messages.
You know your situation and your ex better than anyone, so it’s your decision whether or not you want to use just text messages, just the letter, or both.
In most cases, I highly recommend a letter or an elephant in the room text before trying to speak to your ex casually. An effective first contact letter can really help change the way your ex thinks about you.
Text messages are great for building attraction with your ex. They are short, they are personal and you can be sure your ex will read your texts.
If used correctly, you can condition your ex to light up in excitement whenever they see a message from you.
It doesn’t matter where they are, your text will reach them and they will be excited to get a text from you.
The key to using text messages is to have fun. I don’t usually recommend texting for serious conversations.
But if you don’t have an option, make sure you do it by being honest without being needy.
It doesn’t matter where they are, your text will reach them and they will be excited to get a text from you.
The key to using text messages is to have fun. I don’t usually recommend texting for serious conversations.
But if you don’t have an option, make sure you do it by being honest without being needy.
After you’ve spend enough time texting them and you feel an attraction then you should go ahead and ask them out.
(Read more about texting your ex and building attraction via text.)
ASKING YOUR EX OUT
Do not call it a date.
I repeat.
Do not call it a date.
If you do, your ex will put their defenses up faster than Garfield finds Lasagna. You don’t want them thinking that you are looking to get back together.
At least not now.
You want them to go out with you as a friend. And then you can build up attraction while you are with them.
If you’ve done your homework correctly, you will be oozing confidence and attractiveness out of every inch of your body.
And this works doubly as effective on your ex than any other person.
Why?
Because they were already attractive to you at one point in time. And you are not a stranger to them. You are someone familiar who looks very attractive.
The best way to ask them out is to give them a call.
It’s possible they might require a slight push. A simple “come on, it’ll be fun.” Or “Hey, it’s just coffee. What’s the harm?” should be sufficient.
However, don’t go overboard in pushing them.
Don’t say something like.
”Come on. Just go out with me once. Please. Pretty please.”
Or
“You broke up with me and broke my heart. The least you can do is go out with me one time.”
Remember, your ex doesn’t owe you anything. You have to treat them like an acquaintance you want to get close with.
Once they’ve agreed to meeting you, there’s a good chance getting back together is at the back of their mind. But it’s not over yet
Last and Final Step on the next Post..
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